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Again reporting from walks taken.

It was dangerous work, striding down a busy, sidewalkless road, in imminent danger of being knocked into the sagebrush by the mirror of a passing pickup. Amid the clutter of the roadside, the box called out for my attention. I stopped and picked up the empty container that proudly proclaimed “Quick Fix – Synthetic Urine”.

A bit bumfuzzled, I read the copy and the directions for use but it made little impression as yet another Ford 350, diesel stacks belching, bore down on me and I retreated into the weeds.

I knew I had to know more but days passed before I could Google it. Bonnie had opined that it might be for repelling animals. I didn’t know. But a bit of copy from the website consigned my poor old psyche to the dustbin of history: “Quick Fix Synthetic Urine is the clean, pre-mixed laboratory urine that everyone is talking about!”

There you go – proof positive, Bill is so far behind that he has never heard that conversation, much less understood it. The catch phrase taunted me - “everyone is talking about it!”

Further reading offered another use. Calibration of urine testing equipment. Seems reasonable. I mean, after all, the site is proud of their factory processes for creating urine: “This laboratory process results in a cleaner, fresher urine that is toxin free and balanced for pH, specific gravity, creatinine, and several other urine characteristics.” Who can argue with that?

I was assured that preparation for use is easy. “Once this synthetic urine is warmed between 90 and 100 degrees in a microwave for up to 10 seconds it becomes suitable for use. Attach the heat pack and keep it warm for up to 8 hours!”  Images of warming synthetic urine in a microwave pass before me but I digress.

I continued down the site and noticed a decidedly darker trend. There is a movie clip giving detailed instruction on how to pass a drug-screening test using Synthetic Urine. I saw that this is easy since the “heat pack will keep it warm for up to 8 hours”. Then there is a brief description on Urine Therapy and fetish uses. I suppose.

However, one has to enjoy the boyish, happy prank uses of this product.

The site says, with a suppressed chuckle, “What could be funnier than dousing your roommate’s bed with urine?”. Well, what could be? Moreover, there is a practical side to this youthful prank executed with Synthetic Urine: “Doing it with fake urine will reduce the chance of getting your ass beat! This synthetic urine is healthy and doesn’t contain the nasty toxins human urine does.”

There you go.

Never ending joy from walking down the road.